Friday, November 30, 2007

Friday Five: "Bah, Humbug!" Edition

This week's RevGal's challenge:

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....

1) dessert/cookie/family food

Stollen. I'm sorry, but I don't do candied fruit, especially -- shudder -- citron.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)
Minty drinks -- mint mochas, mint cocoa, etc. Mint belongs in gum, frozen Peppermint Patties and mint-chip ice cream, not in beverages.

3) tradition (church, family, other)
Actually, my Scroogish complaint is not with traditions, but with lack of tradition -- familiar, comforting liturgies and hymns of the Christmas Eve service getting jettisoned in favor of weird stuff that confuses the regulars and scares visitors. Save the innovation for a really memorable kick-fanny, "aha!"-moment sermon.

4) decoration
Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings...but I am so over inflatable Christmas yard ornaments. They make people's front lawns look like used-car lots.

5) gift (received or given)
The meaningless, contractual-obligation office Christmas gift -- right up there with the meaningless, contractual-obligation office Christmas party.

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. Grinchy trifecta includes "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Feliz Navidad" -- these first two not because of any objection to the music or lyrics, but rather to their sheer ubiquity on radio and canned-music playlists -- and "Do You Hear What I Hear?," a song that combines faux-spirituality/highmindedness with Vegas-lounge-lizard smarm: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, a song that I hope means as much to you -- [insincere catch in throat; daub at eyes] -- as it does to me. Hit it!"

Whew! That was kind of cathartic. I feel almost...cheery.


will smama said...

Ah yes, nothing like office mandatory fun. And thank you for finally putting into works my aversion for those two songs - they are played EVERYWHERE.

Thanks for playing.

Mary Beth said...

Yeah, that office Christmas thing is NUTS. Last year I made cards for everyone that said they had helped buy a llama for Heifer International. (They really had.) Maybe they thought it was tacky. I don't give a flip.

RevDrKate said...

Oh so much agreed on the "forced fun" as we used to call it in the convent! and those songs and the mintys...with you all the way. Great play.

jill said...

Ah, my Lutheran cohort with the affinity-for-tradition...with you all the way!

Diane said...

I LOVE what you say about tradition, or the lack thereof. sometimes it's better to leave things well enough alone.

Soozi said...

Yep - I wholeheartedly agree with most of what you said. I only take exception to the minty drinks!

Singing Owl said...

I'm with you all the way too. Didn't think about those minty drinks, but yeah, skip them. Do you Hear What I Hear? Yeah, smarmiest song ever. My DH likes it.

Maybe I should send you some socks.


Songbird said...

I guess you know you're in good company on the inflatable lawn decorations.

Counselor in Process said...

"They make people's front lawns look like used-car lots" This was so true and perfectly said!

zorra said...

The agency where I work tried several times to have a big evening "holiday" bash (God forbid we should use the C word, even if 100% of our employees are observing Christmas) with a live band and the whole nine yards, but finally gave up after the year when, uh, nobody came. Departmental "holiday" lunches are now de rigeur. That I can tolerate.

Tom in Ontario said...

Hate stollen.

Like mint.

With you on the traditional/familiar on Christmas Eve.

Have 2 inflatables on the lawn. My kids love them.

Only me and the secretary so we don't do an office party.

I can take it or leave it with JBR and FN but I just love to hear Whitney Houston sing DYHWIH.