Saturday Five, With Bonus Rant

Yeah; I'm slow. Anyhow...

Which of the Winter Olympic sports is your favorite to watch?

The freestyle skiing events.

Do you speak Snowboardese?

Dude -- gaffers should probably not speak Snowboardese.

Define Nordic Combined. Don't look it up. Take a guess if you must.

Aha! I know this. It's cross-country skiing combined with ski jumping...right?

Curling. Please discuss.

I love curling, because it is the only Olympic sport that I could conceivably ever do myself. Since I'm built more for strength and endurance than speed and agility, I'd be the one pushing the stone down the ice (I have to admit, I don't know the lingo); I'd let someone else do the thing with the broom.

If you could be a Winter Olympics Champion just by wishing for it, which sport would you choose for winning your Gold Medal?

Again, I think I would only be believable as a curling competitor.

Now for the rant. I have had it up to here [LC gesturing right up to her 5'3" top of head] with all the scoldy, frowny-faced commentator hand-wringing over Lindsey Jacobellis, the American snowboardcross competitor who, just seconds from winning the gold medal, wiped out while making an exuberant grab for her board. She was "hot-dogging"; she let down the team.

Is it just me, or do you think that if Lindsey were a he and not a she there would not be this sort of judgmental broughaha? That Lindsey would be praised for "going for it" and exemplifying that ol' Olympic spirit even if it didn't work out? Ya think? I recall the same sort of criticism being leveled in the past at female figure skaters attempting quad jumps -- they were just showing off, they weren't being team players...I once heard a commentator even opine that a female quad jump would be a "freakish" move that shouldn't be allowed in competition because only some steroid-pumped female anomaly would be able to achieve it. So much for Citius, altius, fortius.

Then, to add to this nonsense, a local newspaper sports columnist recently opined that many women's Olympic sports -- including hockey -- were "novelties" designed to harvest medals for the United States and fill up television time, and not legitimate athletic pursuits. This from someone whose idea of women's athletics is probably ordering his wife to the kitchen in the 25-foot Beer Relay event while he rests his posterior in his La-Z-Boy.

Feh. As far as I'm concerned these "experts" can all biff themselves. Which may not be the correct Snowboardese term, but -- dang -- it felt good to type.