The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Student

After various life interruptions, I've finally been able to begin my online webmastery course.

I wish I could say that this project has lit a spark of heretofore unknown technical aptitude or creativity in my soul. But I can't.

It's just damned difficult, made more so by the solitary, distance-learning context.

I have to really pep-talk myself into reading the text, which is about as dry as vaccuum-cleaner lint. The hands-on exercises are more interesting and rewarding, since they actually provide a visual confirmation if you're doing things right; but I've been having a hard time finding stuff, like visual enhancements for the practice webpages, in my downloaded class materials...many of which I'd actually failed to download, it turns out, because I missed a tab at the top of the Introduction to the Course page. Oops.

The watching-sausage-being-made phenomenon is also at work. I find that now, every time I surf new websites, my heart sinks as I think, My God -- how could anyone ever figure out all this coding?

Working in my favor, though, is my fierce hatred of not understanding things -- feeling stupid is an absolutely intolerable condition for me -- and the realization that this course has immediate practical applications, and the faster I can learn it the faster I can use it.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway, sitting here about to embark on a do-over of my first assignment (see comment about failing to download needed materials), trying not to think about amending the soil of my new herb garden plot, making soup for the Lenten supper and shampooing the carpet.