I've been reading some interesting online meditations on Seasonal Affective Disorder. Beliefnet's depression blogger talked about Advent as a season that resonates with depressives. RevGalBlogPal Shawna Atteberryshared some thoughts along the similar vein here .
I agree that depression's introspective eye can sometimes be even a beautiful thing. Last night, for instance, driving home in the dusk past dark silhouettes of trees and snow-covered farm fields, I was struck -- for just a second -- with a flash of momentary clarity that let me see how beautiful this place was, at this moment. I treasure those moments.
On the other hand...I was trying to describe what SAD feels like to someone not too long ago, and I used the analogy of waking up in the darkness of early morning, feeling comfort under the covers in this dark room -- and suddenly having a bare, glaring lightbulb shoved into my face, and the covers thrown back, and the radio turned on really, really loud...and having this sensation of shock and cold and noise and violation go on for the rest of the day, while my body and mind are crying out for a return to warmth and darkness and rest. That's what it feels like to be in a depressive episode, and what SAD can feel like on any given day.
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November and December have been so cloudy this year that it seems really dark, no matter my mood. But the last few days, I've been outside just after dark and the moon reflecting off the snow has been so bright, that it is refreshing. Especially nice because I'd forgotten to do my outside chores when "it was light out."
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