Here's a great blog-game, courtesy of Derek at Haligweorc :
1. Google your real first name, followed by the word need, all in quotes.
2. List the top ten phrases that Google spits out.
Here's what Google came up with for my name -- changed here to my nom de plume/nom de guerre, of course, to protect the guilty:
1. LutheranChik needs you.
(Batting eyelashes wistfully into the ether...)
2. LutheranChik needs a term.
(A term for LutheranChik? An academic term, or a descriptive term? "Weird"?)
3. LutheranChik needs care 24 hours a day.
(How did they know?...)
4. LutheranChik needs the community's support.
(Yes; I'm all for community support.)
5. LutheranChik needs to get away from the problems of her relationship.
(You mean, as in not having one?)
6. LutheranChik needs to answer this question: Is my life worth living?
7. LutheranChik needs to remain available for caregiving and doctor's appointments.
(This one is actually pretty accurate.)
8. LutheranChik needs to keep moving south and west where there is more breeze.
(Does Grand Rapids count? I'm going there on Saturday.)
9. LutheranChik needs a break.
(From your mouth to God's ear.)
10. LutheranChik needs wit for this Emmy gig.
(Oh. I was thinking of maybe just singing my repertoire of 60's TV
As my friend Melancthon points out to me, you can substitute all sorts of phrases here. Try "[first name] wants," or "[first name] will," or "[first name] won't." Here are some gems from Googling "[LutheranChik] doesn't want to":
LutheranChik doesn't want to get too cute waiting until the last minute to make her monthly payments.
At nine, bedtime, LutheranChik doesn't want to go to her room.
I respect [sic] if LutheranChik doesn't want to discuss her sex life with us.
LutheranChik doesn't want to be like her mother.
LutheranChik doesn't want to see you. She's extremely upset. I can't believe you told her she was demon-possessed.
LutheranChik doesn't want to see the quarry. She wants to see the backseat of your car.
Go Googling. It's fun.