Saturday, November 04, 2006

I Fought the Law, and the Law Won

I had a dream last night.

Now, I am well aware that when people wish to share their fascinating dreams with others, most people's reaction is the same as if they'd said, "Do you mind if I read you some of my original poetry?" But since this is my blog, you're stuck with my dream.

Anyway: In my dream I am having an awful, terrible, no-good, very bad day. Work sucks, for vague but deeply felt reasons. To add insult to injury, on my way down a public stairs I run into an ostensibly homeless young woman lying on an impromptu bed made of some of my clothes; she gives me a heart-rending story about her bad breaks, so I give her money for a meal...but I ask for my clothing back. After I leave, I'm informed by bystanders that she's a professional beggar who's just ripped me off -- and when I look at the clothing I'd retrieved from her, I realize that she kept my good wool blazer. Dang.

Now a chipper, preppy Junior League type is convincing me that I really need to volunteer on a kind of citizen's patrol with the local police; that it's really fun, and you learn a lot about law enforcement, yadda, yadda, yadda. So, being a good do-bee, I find myself behind the wheel of a cop car, with no cop and no instructions, having not a clue what to do next. Everything I do, in fact, is wrong; I can't maneuver, and I press incorrect switches, and soon I'm covered in flop sweat, my heart pounding. I get an angry radio message to drive back to the precinct; I'm so flustered at this point that I can't remember how to respond -- "Ten-four" or "Copy that" or whatever -- but I somehow get the vehicle back to the police department.

There I'm ushered into a staff meeting where the police chief -- a gruff old military type in a brush cut -- proceeds to angrily lambaste the citizen patrol program and everyone in it, saying that it is taking resources away from real police officers and endangering the public. Even as I feel a new sphincter being drilled into my anatomy, I am strangely relieved, because in a way the chief is giving me permission to quit. After the meeting I find him on an Army cot -- perhaps recovering from the rigors of dealing with me -- and I apologize for screwing up. "I really don't want to do this," I confess. "I'm a writer. I can write really well. I don't want to be a cop." The old fellow's expression softens -- just a little -- and he mumbles something like, "Well, then, why don't you do that," and turns away.

5 comments:

revabi said...

So are you asking for interpretations or just sharing?

I'd say your unconsious just issued you an ultimatum, to quit doing what you don't like doing, and do what you like doing.

Sounds also like you have compassion burn out.

I like how your unconsious took care of you trying to be a citizen cop, even though you let yourself be talked into something you really didn't want to do, it didn't let you get killed, but kept messing up with the car. What an unconsious you have.
And a cop telling you to go write.

Have you started to give yourself permission to realize these things? Have you started listening to your unconsious? Have you had some internal dialogue going on? You are an important journey for you, and perhaps at a crossroads. Wow!

zorra said...

What revabi said. What an amazing dream.

When considering interpretation, I find that it often helps to put yourself in the perspective of each character in the dream (even including the Junior League type and the police car) to experience their feelings and thoughts, explore which part or aspect of you is being expressed there.

The part about the police chief telling you to just go write is really exciting.

Magdalene6127 said...

LC, this dream rocks.

I read this dream as your subconscious telling you that it rejects the Church's popular (in some circles) role of "policing" people. I see an invitation to your introspective self, your thoughtful self, the part that is filled with self-trust and confidence (unlike the part that feels taken advantage of at one point).

This is such a good dream!

Blessings, Mags

RuthRE said...

hmmmmmmmmm

toujoursdan said...

This may seem odd, but I wish my dreams were this vivid. I usually just remember a few disconnected images. What a great insight on the soul.