Sunday, May 14, 2006

My Turn

I understand that my human has been blabbing online about intimate aspects of my gastrointestinal system and, even worse, complaining about me to all of you.

I resent this deeply.

First of all: I'm old, dammit. If I were a human I'd probably be in assisted living. Would you push your 90-something grandfather out the back door into the rain a half dozen times a day and say, "Time to poop"? I think not.

Another thing: Our thermostat used to be set on 72 degrees. Now it's on 68 degrees. So it's not like it's Miami Beach in here either. Why is she doing this to me? Did I mention that I'm old?

Another thing: Our mom used to let me out whenever I asked. Now I have to wait until lunchtime to go out, and then I have to wait until almost 5 o'clock to go out again. And on Fridays I have to wait all day. So I think I deserve to have some slack cut for me, especially when it's cold and wet outside. She's got a steam cleaner. What's the problem?

And is it my fault I can't sit on the toilet seat?

My human found my old sweater in the closet. I usually hate my sweater, and tell her so, but I let her put it on me today. She said, "Now you'll be warmer when you go out." She thinks I'm going to want to go outside now because I'm wearing this stupid sweater? She must be freaking nuts. Although I must admit I do look a little stylin' in it. But...she's still nuts.

These things just needed to be said.

Lucky for me I'm so darn cutePosted by Picasa

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel for you pup, She is always talking about you is'nt she? Its not cool having our personal problems on the internet is it? Us humans just don't get it. I hope the summer is warm up there this year. Yours Thinkstomuch

Miffy said...

You poor little chap. What we dogs endure! I'm a mere stripling, but She does all you said to me and more...! Now She's got it into her head that I need company - and has forced me to share living quarters with what looks like a piebald, mutant guinea-pig with sharp claws which does nothing but sleep and eat all day. (When he's not shedding hair or mewing piteously in a bid to gain sympathy).

Life's not fair I tell you.

Anonymous said...

My human makes me share space with 5 of those nasty creatures.Moody arrogant mutations. Toby

Rainbow Pastor said...

Life is a...well, you know. My human makes me do many of the same atrocious things yours does--although she has never tried the sweater thing, thank Dog.

I'm old, too. They should have more respect for us old 'uns, I say.

Mr. M (borrowing the laptop for a moment)

zorra said...

If our humans knew what it was like to be this old, I think they would have to cut us some slack. My mom is always shoving me out the door and telling me "Hurry up". Doesn't she get it? Everything takes a little longer than it used to! I still need to check the perimeter and make sure the whole yard is safe before I can take care of personal business! She just yelled at me for drinking out of the upstairs toilet. Hey, was it MY FAULT she let my upstairs water bowl get empty?! She apologized when she saw that, but the damage was done...You know what, though--I love her anyway. I bet you still love your human, too. Your friend, Amie

Christopher said...

That's a cute dog. Looks like a white version of Baby, my Yorky-Poo who passed away a couple of months ago. Very very cute, and such a fetching sweater!
Peace,
Chris

J.C. Fisher said...

Yup, you're very cute, Code-man (but so's your human *g*).

Good luck w/ the doo-doo, dude...

LutheranChik said...

The Codeman just passed an important milestone this week: I had two visitors to my home whom he did not want to bite. Well, I think he maybe wanted to bite my pastor, but instead he just paced around the house and groused. And my other friend was actually able to pet him. His next assignment: To make friends with two new dog friends, a couple of big, friendly golden retrievers whose only threat to him might be their accidently licking him to death.

LutheranChik said...

P.S. Flattery will get you everywhere, there, J.C.;-)