I’ve been offered the chance to coach.
No, not that kind of coaching. Until there’s a Lardass Olympics with events like the Sofa Dive or the Ben & Jerry Butterfat Tongue Curl, my services will not be necessary in the world of athletics.
No; this is about mentoring church folks.
A day or two after my mom had her heart surgery I’d gotten an e-mail from my lay ministry program telling me I’d been recommended to apply for a coaching position, to be kind of a one-on-one listening ear to other church folks in leadership positions who wanted some mentoring. Because of Mom’s hospitalization, and because for some reason official Lutheran communiqués (Assembly resolutions being one example) tend to not be very clear, like reading furniture assembly directions written by someone for whom English is a second or third language – you can be a Fairly Educated Person, and read them over a dozen times, and still wind up scratching your head and thinking, What???? What did they say????-- I didn’t really understand what this gig was all about. It sounded something like amateur spiritual direction but not really, and something like a secular job coach but not really, and something like a 12-Step sponsor but not really. And yet I was strangely intrigued. Then I read farther down the missive and saw that I had to attend a mandatory two-day training in a couple of weeks, something I knew was out of the question. So I e-mailed back, explained what was going on in my life and declined. Oh, well.
Then, a couple of weeks ago on a lay ministry skill day, one of the people involved in this coaching endeavor came up to me and, after extending her condolences, told me that the training had been rescheduled for the fall, and that they’d hold a space for me if I was still interested – to not rush to apply; to just think and pray about it over the summer and get back with them.
Now, anytime I receive any kind of positive feedback from my lay ministry program, my initial reaction is “There must be some mistake,” followed closely by “They like me…they really like me?”, followed closely by “Oh God, what are you getting me into now?” All of which things crossed my mind in quick succession.
And right now I’m stuck on that last question. Is this a real call, something I really need to do and want to do, or is this all about collecting another line item for my curriculum vitae? What do I want to do with this? Do I have the time to do this? Am I really a good listener? Am I really non-directive? – can I guide people into the process of finding their own way without giving them advice or “’splaining it all” to them?
I am excited, bewildered and skeptical all at once. So I suppose I will be thinking and praying about it in the weeks to come.
7 comments:
Don't forget that an option is to go to the training and see if what they are teaching and what you are learning is right for you at this time. If you go, do you really have to committ to a stint if it isn't right for you?
Having gotten myself in way over my head though enthusiasm many many times, I am with you on the uncertainty.
However, I was moaning about this very thing with a friend last week, and she had this nugget of wisdom to offer:"Before you take on a new thing, think about this: What would it take to stop doing it? To back up and away from? WOuld it be easy or difficult? Can you change your mind?"
Just the thought that "Oh, yeah. Just because I say I'll do it, I'm not locked in forever," was wonderfully calming. Like Softly said, what's the turnback point? When do you have to committ totally? Take it one step at a time and if starts feeling not-right for you (whatever that means for you at that place and time), then stop.
Hah, I can give such great advice, can't I? (But can I take my own advice, that's the real question, bwah hahaha).
Also, what do you have to give up (time-wise) when you take on something new?
I get really enthused about some new things in my line of interest, but often I say to myself, No More Hobbies. I know that this isn't a hobby, but I'm making a parallel.
Time is the big issue. You would be great at this..and you would make mistakes and learn from them. But your heart is a pure one and your intentions would be from the best part of you -- so you would certainly do well. Seems to me the only actual issues are time and whether or not this is a way that you want to spend it. You've just been through a lot with the death of your mother and are still sorting and sifting that out. So take a deep breath - be kind to yourself -- attend to what is before you -- let the river flow - see where it takes you. (My two cents endeth here.)
The interesting thing is that it hasn't "Gone away" after your initial response, but has resurfaced in a way that is more manageable for you...
I love the fact that those arranging the training have told you not to rush to a decision but pray it through during the summer,- so the thing to do would be, I'd say, to pray with first one scenario in which you do undertake preparation for this ministry, and then another, in which you don't.
It sounds to me as if, once trained, you might be able to control the amount of time the ministry occupied anyway...you could say "No, I can't mentor X at the moment as my resources are fully stretched" or welcome X, y AND z if you had the capacity at the time....
The training sounds interesting and potentially helpful anyway.
Love and prayers as you explore xx
I'm with p.softly, perhaps go to the training, see what it's about, and then make further discernment.
I think "what have you gotten me into now, God?" is exactly right. In my own spiritual life, I'm being challenged to be interruptable-- to be available to have my carefully constructed plans totally screwed up. I"m with kathryn-- this definitely seems like a "nudge", just remember that you can always place boundaries as you go along.
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