Me: Waaaah! I'm lost. I'm lonely. No one understands me. I don't know what I'm doing. I can't find "sacred space" for worship. I can't find my motivation. I don't know what "ministry" means anymore. Everything that comes out of my mouth sounds like insipid nonsense. I'm no good to anyone. I've lost my focus. I'm depressed. Help!
Fantasy Spiritual Director: You poor lamb...why, you're experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. We specialize in those! Don't worry -- we'll fix you up in no time. You just sit right here next to me and cry on my shoulder for as long as you like, and then we'll set you up for a nice, quiet retreat -- praying the Hours, lectio, examen, daily Eucharist...spirituality just the way you like it! You'll be a new woman!
Real Spiritual Director:
...well, actually, I suspect a real spiritual director would be kicking my ass right now. In Christian love, of course.