Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Surreal Life

I'm sitting here with my display table at a community "expo" event...while someone I love is at the opposite end of the state, having surgery even as I type.

It's an incredibly surreal and frustrating feeling; and more so because I can't talk to anyone at work about it, the way that people talk freely about their spouses.

This morning one of my coworkers came in late, explaining that her husband had been admitted to the hospital. I said, "You must have a lot on your mind right now," and mentioned that I had a friend in the hospital today as well. And that's it.

That's how it is here. That's what it's like not to be able to talk about important things in your life, because you're afraid, and to not have your life partnership recognized as real, and thus worthy of the benefits given to other couples. The "stop whining" people just don't get this; how hard it is.

My pastor has been a Godsend. He's actually at the downstate VA hospital now; he arranged his schedule to be there when Fellow Traveler arrived, so she'd be able to be with someone she knew before surgery. FT spent the night with her sister, in a halfway city; but her sister had to work today, too, so she had to leave her at the VA busstop at another VA hospital. I felt terrible about all of this; but we had no time to adjust schedules and get family members here.

So, anyway, I'm sitting here tapping into the free wi-fi, being the good PR do-bee, waiting for a phone call.


Mrs. M said...

Sympathy and prayers from a stranger, for what they're worth.

David said...

Your pastor is truly a gift for you. Prayers of peace and comfort for you and FT.

Reverend Dona Quixote said...

Thoughts and prayers --and I'd be happy to do what I can in the way of transport later if I can be helpful. I wish I had offered before. [Of course, FT doesn't really know me either ...]

What you say about not having one's employment or relational status protected is right on the money --and it absolutely sucks!

The people who would dare tell you to stop whining lack compassion, lack empathy, lack love, lack justice ... I think not much of their faith.

I thank God for your pastor too.

mary Sue said...

May the healing love of Christ surround and support FellowTraveler, and the comforting light of Christ surround and support you.

Trish said...

Peace be with you, LC. And you and FT are in my thoughts and prayers.

MikeF said...

My prayers are with you both, that all went well with the surgery, and that you were able to get good news in good time.

Very rough you can't be with FT, and very unfair that you can't talk freely about how you feel. It does make me cross that it should be like that...

Lots of love from the UK!


Tom in Ontario said...


Kathryn said...

I'm sorry you are both having to deal with this. Praying here too

Verdugo said...

I agree... it sucks.


P.S. an after-thought said...

I really don't see why people are so up tight about the fact that some people, regardless of what kind of relationship they have, are 'CLOSE' to other people.

Last week, my son, early 20's in age, lied to take off a day of work, to travel to a funeral of an elderly person he had come to know a few years ago. The widow went way out of her way to notify my son of the death, and he said she was so happy that he made the effort to attend the funeral. She hung on to him the whole time after the funeral.

So, that isn't the same, but the premise that I come from is the same: there are special people in one's life, regardless of circumstances. There are times we need to be with them. Period.

Mother Laura said...

I am glad to hear in later posts that FT is recovering well, but so very sorry that you and your partnership are so dishonored and unjustly treated. Wrong wrong wrong. And spurs me again to get off my tush and take some action to counteract the undeserved privilege I enjoy since my spouse happens to be the opposite gender.

I just joined Marriage Equality in honor of the two of you and will add a bit about that to my Friday Five post. Very little step but it's a start.

Thank you so much for sharing the prophetic truth of your life with us.

Mary Beth said...

Thanks for sharing, LChik. I'm sorrier than I can say that it is this way. I am committed to doing what I can in my lifetime to make it different.

Love and blessings!